Like 2 years too long. Life is messy. Life is busy. Time to start clearing the head again. No way to retrace the last 2 years, so let's just start with today.
Ok, not today. We'll back up about a month. I got sick. Really sick. The doctor at the weekend clinic and my personal doctor both agree: diverticulitis. About 2 weeks after the first incident, another incident, with some different symptoms. Possibly an issue elsewhere in the colon, or maybe it's an ulcer in the lower stomach or duodenum. Regardless, I'm now scheduled for scopes to check what's happening there...from start to finish. YUCK! As distasteful as it sounds and will be, I want answers. How bad is it? Is there any permanent damage/scarring? Where do we go from here? Lay it all out because I have a life to get on with.
And therein lies my major point. I have a life. The diagnosis is going to mean some lifestyle changes; I get that. However, I refuse to believe it's going to be a life sentence. Yes, I'll have it the rest of my life. No, I'm not willing to let it be the black cloud of doom in my life that brings along misery and a sense of foreboding.
I refuse to sit back worrying and wondering when the next attack is going to hit me. I refuse to believe that management is out of my control. I refuse to let this control me. There have been a lot of advancements in the treatment of intestinal disorders in recent years, and I refuse to believe that the methods of 20-30-40 years ago still apply.
If it turns out a certain food doesn't agree with me, I'll avoid it. But not because someone tells me I must avoid it at all cost.
I'll take fiber supplements if I need a little extra boost. But not because someone tells me I must in order to survive. I'd rather eats lots of fruits and veggies than drink sandy orange juice.
See, I just don't react well when someone says I can't or must, simply because that's how it works for them. Especially when the conventional way of thinking has changed. While I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that suffers from this, and it's nice to have support from someone familiar, I'm pretty sure my doctor and I can handle the decisions that will work best for me.
And for pete's sake, stop asking every 5 minutes if I'm ok. If I'm feeling like crap, trust me, you'll know. Everyone will know. Or maybe not; maybe I'll just tuck myself in my room and chill.
There now, I feel better. :)